Another failed relationship 🚶🏽♀️At this point I am exhausted mentally and emotionally. Should I compromise myself and maybe I can be in a long term relationship?? It has got to a point of psychological torture that has been stressful. Most of my friends are in relationships and do not get me wrong, am happy for them truly! However, seeing them has made me question myself if holding on to my ‘virginity’ that important?? Looking at how people date nowadays it’s always ‘sex’ first then relationship comes after…
Maybe I had reached a desperation point but if a guy approached with intentions of a relationship, was suddenly engrossed with high expectations of that person being the one to accept me wholeheartedly. It was that question so tell me about yourself of which always responded ‘do not be freaked out but honestly am not going to sleep with you so if you can’t deal with that then we will just forget this talk’…. The usual response was always ‘I will wait till you are ready or will take it slow.’ Of course, your girl was getting bare happy that finally I have met someone that understands but the usual pattern started happening all over again:
The calls reduce, the texts become much more less and always come back late. They claim to be very busy. They could go for days without texting or calling. Here and there would pop up claiming to check up on you. Conversation gets awkward🤔
So to protect myself from overreacting or being too emotional, I am always on the lookout of these. As soon as they start, the best way I deal with it is to just Block, Delete and keep it moving. You could ask would it not hurt you? It stings like a bee but in order for my peace of mind to stay intact that’s the best way I can deal with it….
Part 3 will come along as your girl experience…
Thank you for reading lovelies xx
First of all…it’s been hard 🙈
As an African girl, growing up being told that keeping yourself to yourself is the pride of a ‘well-trained’ woman. With that said, so many of my friends got pregnant after losing their virginity of which it’s considered an ’embarrassment or disgrace’. The struggles they went through after being rejected, condemned and losing their peace of mind helped me to maintain my mentality to stay in tact. Throughout my teenage years, of course I would feel the pressure and the temptation was too much at times. When you see people being open about losing their virginity and still living normal lives of course I thought to myself ‘just do it and you will be fine’🤔 But the resolution was quite strong that I never put myself in a position to lose my virginity.
When I eventually settled in another country, my eyes got more opened to more STDS that I never knew existed. In Africa, most common was AIDS obviously but upon reaching here found out that chlamydia is very much at large and can cause serious complications. So I had two things to keep my legs closed more than ever which were ‘teenage pregnancy and STDS’.
However, upon reaching my 20s I looked back at my relationships even though I had good memories, one factor that made them not to work was due to my inability to ‘open these legs’ 😂. Of course I really want to be loved unconditionally but that is just my wishful thinking 💭. Why can’t someone just wait till the right time for me?? That’s the question I have been asking myself and till now have not found the answer….
Watch out for Part 2👌🏽
Thank you for reading my lovelies xx
Life is too short to hold grudges & keep regrets.
You gotta love back the ones who love you, and don’t
let the people who don’t ,hold you back from [(anything)]
You gotta live your life, and forget about the past. Live for
the future. There will be changes, and you just have to go
with the flow. Remember that, and you’ll be fine. Life wont
be easy, its like a climbing a mountain. It will be hard, but
the view will be worth it in the end. Remember that