Once upon doong doong…the sound my heart made upon my first glance of you. It was never my intention to fall for you but it was already too late as I could not stop myself from falling. Your smile, your sparkling eyes oh my chwest…that unforgettable moment you crossed my path is one I wish to never forget in this lifetime. I have already loved you for the both of us. Now I just wait to see you even in my dreams that will be enough for me. Meeting you once was like a dream but if fate decides to make us meet again then this time I will not hesitate. Once upon my love that started from a five minute glance to be cherished for a lifetime.
It’s been many years but it always feels like yesterday. People tend to say time heals all wounds but am thinking like did they mean to say that it takes a whole lifetime. It hurts today just as it did yesterday and it has been 10years already.
Reminisce: Even if am no longer there or we part, am grateful to God to have loved you in this lifetime.
The last words, that have been buried deep in my heart. To think he was grateful to have loved me not even to have been loved. I wonder if reincarnation is ever possible in this life so I can meet him again. We were young but I feel my soulmate came and left me already. Day by day, I pray to forget you but it seems you already talked to God first before I did. However I will keep living and forgive me in advance and close your eyes if my wedding day ever comes to a pass 🙈.
It’s still hard to live without you. I know love will never be beautiful as it was when I was with you. I am still waiting for a day that I will get over my sadness and stop drowning in my tears. Missing you is an understatement.
I hope you keep resting in peace T and know that I am always grateful to God to have loved you in this lifetime.
Thank you for reading xx
There comes a time in life when you have to face up to reality. You may decide to ignore what’s there and instead live on what could be. Having your own Fantasy, that is so good to be true but reality always hit you so hard at the end of the day. You will try your very best to assure yourself that everything is perfect and you don’t care about anything else. Day to day, you lie to yourself that he/she loves you but reality of the matter, you don’t even know where you stand. Reality always wins!
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You try to call, no answer. You text but all you get is ‘am busy’. You stay silent but it becomes hard when they don’t even bother to communicate with you. You start thinking maybe they forgot you or maybe they just don’t feel the same anymore. You spend time and energy debating whether to call or not and you end up calling but no answer. You decide to break it off, stay strong for a year then out of the blue you hear that ‘incoming text ‘ notification. Now that’s unfair, like you have tried your best all year just when you were finally moving on, they come back telling you those sweet lies you have been waiting all year to hear. Now at this point, it’s back to square one.
Now I have come to ask myself, ‘Kuda why are you trying so hard?’. Clearly, you are becoming more of a nuisance and sorry to break it to you but don’t you think the love is not there anymore? I mean like if they truly cared, you wouldn’t be having this emotional pain in your life. You know deep down your heart can’t take it, your head is even worse, getting them migraines over someone who is living their life as if you don’t exist. The funny part is you are totally whipped that am tired of talking sense to you. Girl, it’s time you finally wake up from your fantasy and face reality…
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In a few hours I will be 21🤗 so excited!!!
However, I have been reflecting from last year when I turned 20 and till now when I am about to be 21. It has truly been a journey and it will also be a journey. I have had too many downs that it almost seemed impossible to pull myself up. I cried but I ended up being tired of it. I had a big disappointment when I failed to get into a course I wanted. I was so negative and depressed that I did not know what to do with my life. It was hard to think that I may become a huge failure and embarrass my family.
God truly is God. There were doors in my life that I never thought they will be opened for me. I got stregth from my family’s prayers and decided to pull myself up and face my future. I got into a course I never thought would be possible but I found out that I may still be able to do the course I wanted after this. Truly some journeys are never travelled through a straight road sometimes you have to go up a mountain, cross rivers, face harsh weather but be able to concur through it all. It may take some time but I know I will get there.
So Kuda at 20 I would like to say I am sorry for making you pass through such hard times but thank you for pulling through and believing In God. Kuda @21, you are now in university and it’s only the beginning. I don’t know what’s coming your way but always know God is with you and be happy through everything you pass through.
Finally, thank you to those that have been part of this crazy koo koo beyond repair sometimes normal but beautiful girl 😋 I love y’all. Happy Birthday Kuda❤️
I know I said goodbye first but I miss you. I cannot turn back the hands of time but I miss you. It hurts to live in pretence of being fine when I miss you. I have tried to move on, forget about you but I miss you. I am ashamed of myself for being like this but I miss you. I always hesitate pressing that green button in case you pick up and I won’t be able to hang up. There is plenty of fish in the sea but my heart only beats for one. At times it gets hard, the fear of never loving someone as much as I loved you. Others think am crazy but I miss you. Once in a while I try to check up on you and it gladdens my heart knowing you are fine. They say the one who gets left suffers but I think the one who leaves suffers the most. I hope in due time I will be over it.
To be honest, I started reflecting my life since January. It’s been quite a journey throughout this year. I have managed to change some of the things I could change but some things no matter how much I tried can never change. Looking at my life this past year, I can say it’s been rough emotionally. I have been through enough emotional trauma that could last a lifetime but I survived. By surviving, I mean God kept me and in him I cried all my pain; sorrows away. I am just grateful to God for walking with me throughout this year even though at times I felt I was alone. I have come to understand that there is no point in regrets but just to accept situations as they come. Through it all, I lived in the year of 2015.
Thank you for reading xx (take some time to reflect)